GOT QUESTIONS  



Funny Questions


By S. Michael Houdmann, Got Questions Ministries



Job 8:21 says, "He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting." Psalm 126:2 says, "Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.'" Proverbs 17:22 says, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Laughter is a good thing. God gave us the ability to laugh for a reason. In the midst of our day-to-day grind of dealing with difficult questions, painful questions, and even depressing questions — it is a relief to receive the occasional funny question. The following are some of the funny Bible questions we have received over the years.

"Does God hate satin? Why did God throw satin out of Heaven?" — Satin is a pretty wonderful product, so perhaps it is from Heaven. But, I am pretty sure this person meant "Satan," not "satin." Correct spelling and capitalization are helpful for us to correctly understand the questions we receive.

"Are angles male or female?" — This one was easier to figure out than the "satin vs. Satan" one. While the female body does have more angles, I do not think angles or angels have a gender.

"Why did Samson kill all those Thessalonians with the jawbone of a donkey?" — Thessalonians, Philistines, what's the difference? Only about 1000 years and 750 miles.

"Why didn't the Israelites make the tabernacle out of iron instead of animal skins, that way it would be more sturdy?" — The tabernacle was intended to be a mobile worship center. I am not an engineer, but I am pretty sure an iron tabernacle would be exceedingly difficult to carry through the desert for forty years.

"If the Ark was large enough to contain two of every animal, how did the Israelites carry it around for 40 years?" — This is an understandable misunderstanding. I am not sure why Noah's Ark and the Ark of the Covenant are both referred to as arks when they were very different. I guess they were both essentially boxes used to carry stuff.

"Where can I find the little drummer boy in the Bible?" — For some reason, this question becomes frequent in December every year. I am always tempted to say that the little drummer boy came with the three wise men, but that isn't true. The Bible does not mention the little drummer boy. Pa rum pum pum pum!

"Did Jesus' mother Mary have a cat?" — After the fifth or sixth time receiving this question, I decided to look it up. It turns out that the idea comes from the fact that much of early Catholic imagery of Mary came from Egyptian imagery of the goddess Isis, who was frequently associated with the Egyptian cat goddess Bast. Ugh. This one's not so funny anymore when you discover the source.

And the all-time funniest question:

"Is it wrong to take homeless people bowling and then gamble on which one of them is going to win?" — The question was actually presented to us with an in-depth explanation. Essentially, a group of young people would pick up some homeless people, take them to a bowling alley, buy them some food, pay for their bowling, and then gamble on which of them would win (not having any idea who was the best bowler). Once I stopped laughing, our answer began with something like, "That is wrong on so many levels, I do not even know where to begin!"

S.M.H.



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Published 8-2-12