Why do men cheat?

By S. Michael Houdmann, Got Questions Ministries

Recently, a well-known Christian teacher who is known for "foot-in-mouth disease" had another outbreak of the disease. He essentially told a woman whose husband had recently committed adultery against her that "men cheat on their wives because they are men" and "if a wife makes the home a wonderful place, a husband is far less likely to cheat."

There are nuggets of truth in what he said. However, the way he said it made it sound like he was excusing infidelity on maleness and/or blaming wives for husbands who wander. Let me say this loud and clear, if a husband commits adultery, it is his fault. He is to blame. While there may be contributing factors, there is no justified excuse/reason for adultery.

Are men more prone to sexual temptation? Yes, in most marriages, the husband has a stronger sex drive and is more stimulated by the sight of the opposite gender—and therefore is more tempted by sexual sins (for more information, please read the Got Questions? article on sexual temptation). But a strong sex drive is no excuse. Adultery is always a sin. Sex outside of marriage is always a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7).

So, yes, men being men is a contributing factor for why men cheat on their wives, but it is not an excuse.

If a husband is not finding happiness and satisfaction at home, yes, it will increase the temptation to look for happiness and satisfaction elsewhere. Yes, if a wife is willing to make herself available sexually regularly, it will decrease her husband's temptation to stray. But, with that said, if a husband commits adultery, it is not the wife's fault. No matter how bad a marriage is, adultery is inexcusable. Not matter how infrequent the sex within the marriage, it is still always a sin to engage in sex outside of the marriage.

An unhappy marriage and/or an unfulfilling marital sex life is cause for counseling, reconciliation, compromise, forgiveness, and restoration. It is not an excuse for adultery.

It is difficult for me to give the well-known Christian teacher the benefit of the doubt due to his countless other outbreaks of foot-in-mouth disease. The above is what I think he was trying to say, but if so, he fell woefully short of actually getting his point across.

Men, if you commit adultery, you are sinning against God, your wife, and yourself (1 Corinthians 6:18; Colossians 3:5). Yes, things in your life may have conspired against you to make the temptation more difficult to resist, but if you fail to take advantage of the way of escape God provides, you have no one to blame but yourself (1 Corinthians 10:13).

TagsRelationships  | Sin-Evil

comments powered by Disqus
Published 5-21-13