He first loved us. He first loved...YOU.

Dennis Cooper

I felt in my depths, in the places only He could know, that there was nothing left to live for. For on the day He found me in a miraculous, all powerful and life-altering way: February 23, 2014 — my real birthday, I found something worth dying for. I knew that day that I was never abandoned by our Lord despite living a failed life. My plans and promises were all but dust in the wind, but what now lay ahead of me would find me knowing the author and finisher of faith. His work in the life of the little ones...words stop here. There are none to offer the faithful and infinite Father that capture the reflections of my thanks. For whatever He saw within me still escapes me. The one who needs much forgiveness, loves much in return — may this be entwined in the commission that remains in my life. He came to save the sinners, and like Paul I feel unworthy, for the stripes I added to His pain were forgiven, and this brought upon His grace, and it will always be, sufficient.

The fire within my soul today stirs me to a gratitude beyond any measure. Infinite will be my reverent worship. You alone, so worthy of every moment, every thought and every day. Here I am, send me, send me.

He saved me from so many things: myself, my flesh, my unfounded pride, and an eternity without faith hope or His love.

The promise of His grace in my life founded a faith now building upon what the church speaks not: Holiness and obedience and repentance. Faith in action will consume the hearer to doing, for fear is the beginning of His wisdom. His work within me reminds me to be clay, as He remembers that I am dust. Lord I beg you, make me the vessel as you will. For what I do not know, you always have.

To know today that I was known by The Father for this time and place upon this earth compels me to tears, fear and trembling. He is powerful and just, yet kind and patient for those willed to and for His grand design. The more I seek God through an intimate real living and breathing relationship with His Son Jesus, the more I know I will never understand completely someone so Loving and awesome. Our LORD is one. Jesus is my LORD.

I cry a lot more in my quiet places nowadays. They are drops of gratitude and thanks. They are waters of realizing His work in my little life. The salt on my cheeks reflects how purposed and completely fulfilled I feel to be loved by God. I am unworthy in the tattered rags of my works, but His grace that is covering the unrighteousness of my ways, aims me to be, raiment white in the Blood of the Lamb.

The days of sifting are here. To whom do you truly belong?

I grew up in fear of my Father above and my father below. I grew up with the Bible and the belt — one left its mark, the other, just a welt. It was and is and shall forever remain the great gift in my life that "He loved us first." Faith is a gift to the lowly. Hope is the promise of tomorrow. Love? Love just is, and in these I shall remain.

Thank you Father for Your Son. Thank you for the faithful messenger who listened to you when I knew not your voice or your truth. Thank you for the pain and struggle that lowered me to a place where I could receive you. You have given me life, a life worth living. A love worthy of death, and a faith in the only real love I know I can't earn, deserve or ever walk away from. I owe you all of me, all the time. Thank you Abba Father. In Jesus name.

Image Credit: Unsplash; untitled; Creative Commons

TagsBiblical-Salvation  | Biblical-Truth  | God-Father  | Personal-Life

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Published on 1-31-17